My journey to becoming completely anxiety free after taking conscious efforts.
If you have been following me on medium or know me closely, you would be aware of my struggles with anxiety. In my life, I have had my share of issues and insecurities that led to severe anxiety. It was in 2018 when I realized I had anxiety. Throughout the years, there was a lot of accumulated emotional baggage that had started to crop up. On the outside, I might have seemed to have a good job, have a happening life, and be well-loved by everyone. But little did the world know, my anxiety kept me awake at night and took up a lot of my mental bandwidth. The chirpy-happy-confident self I was on the outers, had another face — the anxious-all-the-time.
It took me countless sessions with my therapist, innumerable crying meetings with my mother and close friends, and a lot of self-realization to come to the point where I am at today. My golden moment was finally here when I had nothing substantial to talk to my therapist about that caused anxiety in me. In this situation, my progress wasn’t visible like weight loss or a career trajectory. There was no measurement scale for it. It is inconspicuous and the improvement was only felt by me and those who spoke to me every day.
To put it simply, anxiety causes bad thoughts. These thoughts soon turn into patterns which create a weakening spiral. This negative spiral finds ways to convince us of our impending doom. But now that I am better, I would love to share my collective learnings. You may refer to the articles I wrote about my journey here. However, I intend to spread knowledge based on my experiences. I would recommend you visit a practising psychologist/ therapist/ psychiatrist if you feel the need to.
- Speak it out — Thoughts are different from reality. What helped me to get over bad thoughts is speaking to a trusted friend. I am genuinely lucky and thankful to have an amazing set of close friends, who I can trust blindly. They, not only heard me when I just wanted to vent but also nudged me in the right direction when it was required — by helping me break off unwanted relationships or day-to-day validation of my thoughts. My tribe was there for me to reason it out and attract the right vibe.
- Move it out — By far, exercise is one of the best natural anti-anxiety solutions I have come across. There have been times when I was at my lowest, and sweating it out has helped me calm my nerves. Physical activities are said to raise endorphins and serotonin levels to help you feel better emotionally. When you feel better on the inside, you start to look at the world differently.
- Accept it out — While conversing with my therapist, we often spoke about my obsessiveness with my weight and body. While exercising helped, but what helped more was understanding and accepting my flaws. It is like what Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones once said — “Once you have accepted your flaws, no one will use them against you”.
- Boundary it out — I am still facing the issue of drawing boundaries but I have improved over the year. I initially did not know what is okay for my well-being generally, which landed me in a soup. But that helped me realize the importance of personal and professional boundaries. Each time, life threw a situation I wasn’t okay with, I took a step back, analyzed the situation, consulted a friend (if I had to) and then took action. I started being honest with myself and with others about my feelings.
- Break it out — Break habits which cause anxiety to you. I found myself on the bad end when I would have a lot of coffee. Apart from pimples and good energy, it also gave my Zen a jolt. Now, instead of having coffee every day, I have caffeine thrice a week or less. Be self-aware and observe what hurts you or multiplies your bad thoughts.
- Check it out — One of the important things to notice about yourself is to keep a check on your vitals —your vitamins, minerals, iron, etc. play a larger role in your well-being than you can imagine. It was not my experience, and this point is a lesson from someone else’s journey. But it is important. Sometimes, deficiency of a particular vitamin can impact your emotional and mental state. Even when I started my therapy, I was first asked to get a physical check up done. Physical health just doesn’t mean being fit and lean, it also includes the fluids that run your body!
Of course, all of this would not have been possible without the lovely support group that I have. I cannot thank them enough for just putting up with me daily without asking for a fee. All this also would not have been possible without accepting the reality and willingness to treat anxiety.
What Next?
When I spoke to my therapist about what should be my mental health resolution for 2023; apart from focusing on sustenance, she asked me to work on the matters that could leave me in limbo and turn into anxiety later. Anxiety is a demon which only grows inside you if ignored. But it is possible to win this battle. And I won mine when I decided to control my anxiety and not anxiety control me!
Disclaimer: All the thoughts expressed in this article are from my experiences and not a bible to good mental health.
